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Wednesday 25 May 2011

extreme transphobia

This time around some years ago,  I received an email with this as a headline : OUR FRIEND, SHEILA HAS BEEN MURDERED.  Sheila is a tgirl friend who’ve I known for many years , being a friendly competitor in tranny beauty pageants. Upon going through the details of her untimely demise, I remember just sitting there, looking at the blinking cursor, speechless. Then tears just flowed.
Sheila was found naked on a street corner among trash and garbage, her head was repeatedly smashed with a rock. The bloody rock was just a feet away from her black and blue, mangled body. She was irrecognizable. According  to my friend’s description, she was like a rag doll that has been beaten up, thrown at the side of the street. The police arrested  a  suspect, a  male  stripper . Stories surfaced that he wanted some money to buy drugs and when she refused,  he got so violent that things  ended up tragically. Apparently that was the last report of abuse.
I thought justice has prevailed but I found out later that the suspect was released on bail even though the evidences were strong that would merit a guilty conviction. Only in my country would you see a suspect released on bail for a possible murder. That was a sad time of my life when I lost a sister  and a friend.
More stories of tranny and gay friends and acquaintances being brutally killed more or less because of their sexual orientation has been emailed to me. One thrown off the cliff, one castrated, one whose body parts were mutilated and buried in a farm, one smashed in the head with a bat…Although Sheila’s alleged killer knew she was a tgirl, she wasn’t treated the way she treated him.  Full of love, selflessness and generosity.
I hear stories like this everytime and still, everytime it scares me. I got picked up the first year I was here in Canada, and the guy made some sexual moves on me, when I told him I am not the girl he thought I was he blinked for a bit  and said, “ are you a guy?”. I nodded, and for a second I thought he would punch me when I saw his fist bulging with veins.  I quickly said I was sorry and he let me out of the car. I was still shaking when I walked to my apartment building. His face was red with rage and fury. Just imagine if I made out with him or did  something more sexual, I probably would have ended  up in the hospital by then. From then on if ever I would go out to clubs or bars, I would disclose my sexuality before we engage into anything. I don’t know how my other tgirlfriends do it  but I have heard stories where some were smacked right in the face for disillusionment.
I am not justifying either behaviour but I think getting physically violent is stepping out of the line. And killing is just plain insane. Misleading a guy ,  also in my opinion ,is  despicable. But I don’t think broadcasting one’s a tgirl is necessary, especially there is still strong evidence of transphobia in the society. Yep, I know what you’re thinking, it’s crazy what to do when confronted in this situation (unless, of course, you don’t mind that the girl is actually a man). I apologize as I can’t find a solution for this dilemma.
Someday the world will come to its terms and embrace every sexuality conceived. I wish I’ll still be alive to witness that day. For now I pray for Sheila’s soul, that she may find eternal peace wherever she may be….

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